Heading Home

The time has come, my little friends, for me to head back to LA. 

I have had the craziest 8 months of my life here in DC, and it's going to be pretty damn hard to say bye to my experience here. I guess saying bye to experiences is just welcoming in the memories of them. 

I have made best friends here - which is crazy. Last year my best friend in the whole world broke my heart and I honestly didn't think making new friends was going to be easy, but with time, they came. I have found these badass women and men who I feel so lucky to have met. I've made relationships with people here that I will never forget, and that I honestly trust I could come back to and there would be no change. 

I'm scared to go back to LA and face the reality of the job hunt, the apartment hunt, and the friend hunt (even though I have amazing best friends there, too, but you know what I mean). I'm scared but I'm also fucking stoked because in all reality - that's where I want to be. I want to start my life and have a badass job, and do cool shit, and travel all over the world. I know I can do that. I am fucking awesome enough to do that, and I can't wait to start it.

I'll be living up my last week in DC as aggressively as I possibly can and I'll keep you updated on wherever I wake up over the next 7 days.

Okay, baaaaiiii!

P.S. Feel free to email me at irene@foodandabreakup.com

Walk of Shame?

Is it a walk of shame if you're stoked about it?

Like, if you're leaving the person's house but you both had a great time and a cute sleepover is that still what you call it?

I honestly have always thought that that term was antiquated because I like to think that in most of these situations the girls/guys who are doing the walking had a solid night of boning and they just want to get back home so what is there to be ashamed of?? Unless of course you're just being a piece of shit and trying to shame people who were doing nothing but engaging in a consensual and hopefully good sex. 

The only shameful part of my walk was how fucking sweaty I got because of this garbage DC humidity. 

I mean, on the real, the phrase is catchy and funny - but I feel like if we started calling it something else, like, "the post-coitus carriage" or "the morning after jaunt" we might bring some more positive connotations to an awesome thing. 

What do you think?

Okay, baaaiii. 

Poor Girl

So, it happened. I ran into him out in public. 

I was getting off the Metro at Farragut North because I had to wait for a train to get to Woodley Park because it's the Red Line and nothing is ever easy, and there he was. Pink shirt, khaki shorts, his summer outfit hahaha. 

I got that feeling. The one where your heart pings and sinks down into your stomach and then you almost shit your pants, but don't - and I immediately turned around and started walking away. Then I got to thinking.

  1. He doesn't own this fucking Metro.
  2. I look awesome, so it doesn't matter if he sees me.
  3. I'm gonna walk back.
  4. Who is that hugging him from behind?

And I realized that he's there. With a girl. Probably going somewhere that he really thoughtfully planned out so as to be able to use it as leverage later when they're in a fight. 

I wanted to be freaking out. I wanted to be texting all of my friends about how horrible this felt and how upset I was about it, but I didn't find myself even picking up my phone. I just went right along listening to The Nerdist Podcast and kind of not caring. The only thing that I was feeling was sorry for this girl and sorry for my ex. 

I felt bad for this girl because she has no idea what she's about to get into. Like when she tells him she's going to see her friends instead of him and he tells her that they're all horrible and he doesn't think they should hangout as much. Or when he yells at her and calls her a whore in front of everybody at a party. Maybe she'll start getting the hint when he says she doesn't deserve his love. But who knows? Because right now it's all zoo trips, travel plans, and dancing in the living room. She has no idea, dude.

But I felt pretty bad for him, too. He's falling right back into his cycle. His need to not be alone is so great that he won't take A MONTH to work on himself - he has to have someone by his side listening to his every word, catering to his clingy needs, and manipulating.

He didn't skip a fucking beat after he told me that he doesn't just date around, and he's going to really try not to be mentally or verbally abusive anymore because he wants to be better, work on himself, and fix his shit. I guess not. I think he'll be plenty happy holding on to this new girl with his psychological blackmail, and not taking the bare minimum of time to work on himself. 


I also think it's important to say that theres like a 5% chance it wasn't him and I'm writing this about a complete stranger who doesn't deserve it... in which case - I wish you and your girl the best of luck!!

Okay, baaaiiii.