Some memories are super great. Like, I'll remember the first time that we went to our favorite bar, or our first date and boy, oh boy does that make me nostalgic. You almost get swept up in this sweet, wave of "they've never done anything wrong", or "they only got mad because they loved me so much". It's so easy to feel that way when you've been away for a while and miss someone taking you on a real date. But pay really close attention to those texts from your friends that say "think of the shitty times too, all the arguments, all of the names". They mean that. They were there for it and so were you.
You were there for it and so was I. Today I started to get nostalgic but that window keeps growing narrower and narrower as I find myself remembering how he used to tell me how everything was my fault, and that all of the things that I didn't deserve.
What really hit me today was when he called me "just a waitress". We were in a fight (shocker) and I told him that I understood what it was like to work long hours and be tired after work. He didn't think so. See, at the time I was interning and serving/bartending so I for sure DID know that hours sucked and work can blow, but because I didn't work HIS hours ("normal work hours") my time was not as important and he should have been my #1 priority. He didn't understand that I didn't want to go all the way out to fucking Arlington when I lived in DC. He said that I wasn't putting him first and that since I was "just a waitress" I should be making the effort to come see him instead of the other way around.
Put aside the fact this garbage baby has never had a service industry job in his whole life, and listen to me...
NEVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT WHAT YOU DO!!!
I don't care if you're a bartender, a hostess, a car salesperson, a pirate, a philosopher, a sex worker, or a CEO - only you have the power of how you feel and what you think of yourself. If you don't like it, you're allowed to feel like shit about it. If you love fucking waiting tables - have pride in that!
You are a bad motherfucker and do not let ANYONE tell you otherwise.