Mems

Some memories are super great. Like, I'll remember the first time that we went to our favorite bar, or our first date and boy, oh boy does that make me nostalgic. You almost get swept up in this sweet, wave of "they've never done anything wrong", or "they only got mad because they loved me so much". It's so easy to feel that way when you've been away for a while and miss someone taking you on a real date. But pay really close attention to those texts from your friends that say "think of the shitty times too, all the arguments, all of the names". They mean that. They were there for it and so were you.

You were there for it and so was I. Today I started to get nostalgic but that window keeps growing narrower and narrower as I find myself remembering how he used to tell me how everything was my fault, and that all of the things that I didn't deserve.

What really hit me today was when he called me "just a waitress". We were in a fight (shocker) and I told him that I understood what it was like to work long hours and be tired after work. He didn't think so. See, at the time I was interning and serving/bartending so I for sure DID know that hours sucked and work can blow, but because I didn't work HIS hours ("normal work hours") my time was not as important and he should have been my #1 priority. He didn't understand that I didn't want to go all the way out to fucking Arlington when I lived in DC. He said that I wasn't putting him first and that since I was "just a waitress" I should be making the effort to come see him instead of the other way around. 

Put aside the fact this garbage baby has never had a service industry job in his whole life, and listen to me...

NEVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT WHAT YOU DO!!!

I don't care if you're a bartender, a hostess, a car salesperson, a pirate, a philosopher, a sex worker, or a CEO - only you have the power of how you feel and what you think of yourself. If you don't like it, you're allowed to feel like shit about it. If you love fucking waiting tables - have pride in that!

You are a bad motherfucker and do not let ANYONE tell you otherwise. 

Phew.

 

Okay, baaaiii!!!

Condoms

I think that society has a problem that we have not really talked about. Condoms are EXPENSIVE

As y'all know I dated my ex for about a year. We only really used condoms the first couple of times that we had sex because I never have unprotected sex with someone unless me and that someone are in a monogamous relationship. Before this ex I had dated a guy for 3 1/2 years and we only used condoms the first few times as well. 

In the time between those two relationships the people that I was having sex with would always have the condoms, so the only thought that I put into them was to make sure that they were on and functioning. However, now that I am older and single again I'm realizing that it's not fair to rely solely on the guy I'm sleeping with to have them - I need to have some, too! If I want to be safe then that's my responsibility as well. 

But when I went to CVS and saw that a pack of 3 condoms is anywhere from $7-9, and I've got to be honest - that safety started looking a little less appealing. Now, of course I bought them. $8 is better than the $500 abortion, or the $200,000 it would take to raise the kid, but still. I know some people (myself included) who $8 is a pretty big deal for. In my humble sexually active opinion; this is a major deterrent in the fight to make safe sex more accessible and less daunting.

I strongly, STRONGLY encourage you to go to your local Planned Parenthood. Learn about safe sex, GET TESTED, get free condoms, because I don't know about you, but I sure as hell can't keep up with these prices - I have Chipotle to buy.

Okay, baaaiiii.